The True Link Rules
Here they are. The most valuable set of rules of all time. Follow these perfectly, because your life depends on it. Remember, these are only the begging. V1. We are currently crafting V2, adding on to V1.
The Ways of the True Link
1. True Links always betray each other.
2. True Links always use bombs.
3. True Links respect a man when taunting (unless they don’t feel like it).
4. True Links own noobs.
5. True Links make temporary alliances.
6. Wanna-Be True Links wear green, True Links wear red and black.
7. True Links have a black heart.
8. True Links go down with honor (and a bomb).
9. True Links bomb-spam.
10. True Links only use hurricane attack when necissary.
11. True Links always infinate-kill oponents (and other True Links, but of course, only after carrying out rule #1).
12. True Links never use C STICK.
13. One may only be welcomed in the council of True Links by being accepted by facing another True Link in a 99 stock match.
14. To join an alliance, you must always prove your worthiness (this only applies to you if you aren’t on the council).
15. True Links always taunt after a kill.
16. Toon Links are NOT True Links.
17. If you loose to a Toon Link, you just plain suck.
18. True Links don’t use items (only smash-balls, and explosives).
19. True Links never get sucked up! By kirby. If you do, you are booted from the council.
20. True Links always remember their ancestry.
21. Kirby can suck in and blow at the same time (horses?).
22. True Links personally hunt down wanna-be True Links.
23. True Links = SPLATTER.
24. True Links always hump at their prey.
25. True Links are Master Chief’s father.
26. True Links are the sons of Chuck Norris.
27. True Links NEVER vote for Clinton.
28. True Links NEVER give up.
29. True Links fight ‘till the end.
30. True Links can only suicide with a bomb in their hand
31. True Links are never wimps, their just plain manly.
32. True Links (after a kill) always use sheath taunt.
33. True Links can only call themselves True Links after betraying everyone in existence.
34. True Links beat classic on intense.
35. True Links beat classic on brutal with the T.V. turned off. (OWNED).
36. True Links do stick by’s.
37. True Ownage comes through True Links and True Links only.
38. To join the True Character Clan (TCC), one must pass all of the True Link trials, and always remember their ancestry of the True Link.
39. Once upon a time, there was a True Link. The End.
40. True Links always team slay Ganandorf, and then betray each other.
41. True Links make it seem like they’re in love with Zelda, but why do you think they keep betraying her?
42. True Links HATE posers.
43. OWNED NOB.
44. (Donkeys?)
45. True Links get at least 10 kills per match, even when there’s 1 stock.
46. In the begginnning, the True Link created the True Link clan, and the Nintendo Franchize.
47. True Links always keep a glamoure photo of Zelda in his wallet, but when doing always remember rule #41.
48. True Links always cheat on Zelda with Sheik.
49. True Links never deny anything.
50. True Links always cheat on Sheik with Zero-Suit Samus.
51. True Links own gangsters.
52. True Links, my friends, remember this rule above all (besides #1)… FORGET YOU JORDAN!
53. True Links always betray Jordan.
54. True Links ARE Tkers.
55. The True Link only wields a fraction of the Master Sword’s power.
56. True Links are too good to ride around The Great Sea
in talking boats.
57. True Links don’t do drugs.
58. True Links always get the women they want (CAUTION: THIS IS THE ONE PERSON YOU WILL BETRAY THE MOST).
59. A True Link can always play Through the Fire and Flames on his Ocarina while it’s in his saddle-bag.
60. Epona’s real name is Phillip.
61. True Links never get stuck.
62. True Links allways wear a watch.
63. True Links allways have an uncle in Utah.
64. True Links can slam a revolving door while humping a pichachu?
65. True Links always play expert on Guitar Hero, if they can’t, they are a nooblet.
66. True Links always say ‘That’s what she said’ even if it doesn’t make sense.
67. True Links always use the whammy bar on Guitar Hero, even on short notes.
68. True Links never need to use ‘Shrooms to get big (Like Mario).
69. The origanal True Link tried out for the part of Mario, but jumping over barrels and then saving a princess from a giant nooblet monkey was too easy for him.
70. True Links always game with the lights off.
71. True Links always memorize these rules.
72. When True Links disobey any of these rules, they are sentenced to the Goron Mines to slave with a gravity hammer.
73. True Links don’t need a Wind Waker to wake the wind.
74. True Links don’t need a special suit to breath underwater.
75. True Links outsmart Einstein
76. E=mcLink
77. Miyamoto didn’t invent True Link’s, True Link’s invented Miyamoto
78. A True Link will easily own a Sid on Very Aggressive in Civilization.
79. The only green a True Link can posess is a shrubbery, and mountain dew cans.
80. When True Links play golf, they aim for the green grass, not the ball.
81. True Links play as Link in Soul Calibur III (even though he’s only in SC 2).
82. True Links use Macros.
83. If a True Link falls off the edge of a map without a bomb in hand, they must sacrifice their next life by jumping off with a bomb.
84. In Guitar Hero, if a song just plain sucks, a True Link will tape down their wammy bar, because it deserves nothing more.
85. True Link dogs will always have white fir, and a red collar.
86. On Guitar Hero, a True Link always has the right to green the begginning of a song.
87. True Links always have rights to the holy grounds.
88. A True Link could out-shoot Legolas anyday.
89. The True Links don’t believe in the numbers 90-98.
99.The founders of the True Link’s are Stradivarius, SG1, Mech9, and Phill-Up.
100. Remember young ones, True Link’s must always betray each other.
101. True Links be pro.
102. True Links like PC’s.
